Dairy!*

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Weekly News

Issue 60 - 14th December 2005

Quote of the week:

"We are using Linux daily to UP our productivity - so UP yours!"

Editors Note:

Well, this fantasy has been an exterme disappointment. where is the adventure? Someone forgot about the adventure. Was it you? I bet it was you. Can't do anything right, can you? Now me and everyone else have to sit here and wait, because you forgot the bring the adventure. Did you leave it at home? Have you lost it completely? It would be nice to know when you can get it by, their are a lot of people depending on you.

Ok, so not adventure. But did you at least bring the intrigue? I bet you didn't't. Do you know how much this event is going to suck because of that. I've put in so many hours of planning and you've screwed it all up. I can't believe how bloody hopeless you are.

Well, I guess I can't really blame you, you probably thought that I would bring the adventure and intrigue. I should have made myself more clear. I don't have the adventure or the intrigue.

The Song of the Weak:

Beserker
"Would you like some making fork?"

The TV show of the Weak:

Clone High
cloning famous people and putting them in a modern high school is a great idea.

The Pen of the Weak:

The chewed pen found under a desk at work
You find a pen under a desk as you are crawling around plugging in network cables. The pen has clicking functionality, no other pens in the office have this feature. The pen is chewed, but you don't care. You sit in the meetings smiling and clicking away at your pen. Fun is had by many.

Technical Support with Junior Jessta

This is a new section in Dairy!* in which I answer peoples technical support questions. I'd like to start out by recommending that everyone install at least 3 different anti-virus scanners and 4 different stateful packet inspection personal firewall in each and every computer they control. If you don't then the nasty HAXORS! was burn your house and eat your mother. Think about it, if one anti-virus solution is good then 3 must be better, it's simple math. 4 > 3.

The great thing about running so much security software is that the computer will be so slow and useless that nobody will want to use it, reducing the possibility of infection by a large amount. Since most of the processing power is being put toward scanning file for malware, there will be little processing power left for the malware to use. You probably wouldn't even notice a difference for you were infected.

Photo of the weak:


Jesse's bedroom and purple girlfriend.

The Rant

Oh Marc Jacobs... Summertime LUST!
Well, it's that exciting time of the year again! Everyone is finishing up their exams, parties are rife (being the holiday season and all), nights are warm (inviting people to stay up and enjoy the heat), and days are sunny! Vitamin D is such an exceptional vitamin. Truly, the most fun is had during the sunnier times of our lives... it would have to take a lot to top last summer though. But fr But frankly, I am expecting a lot of what this summer has to offer me. Meanwhile, I have recently noticed that I am talking about a season as if it were a person.... DAMN YOU SIR WINTERRRR!

Mel Wrote this.

Scared white boy in China:

........still in china.

Isaac wrote this.

It's race war time(chanted with pompoms and in miniskirts)*

Where is my beating bat?
Where is my stabbing knife?
If you are white then you are with me
If not, then I'll be stabbing you

We are white
We are supreme
We are proud
We will beat your arab arse 'round

We will stab you in the gut
Keep you on the ground
For we are white!
and the smartest guys around


Please note: this image is stolen. Jesse wrote this.

Thanks for all the fish, mind the gas, and don't let the monkeys steal your shoes.
*Please note that this is satirer, if you don't get it then don't complain.